Amid cratering fertility rates and widespread anxiety over declining population numbers in the U.S. and the rest of the world, multiple polls indicate that many younger Americans are forgoing childbearing simply because they do not want to have children.
Policymakers and analysts have been struggling to explain why fertility rates have been plummeting throughout much of the developed world, including in the U.S., Europe, and many Asian countries.
In many nations fertility rates have been below “replacement levels” for years, raising the prospect of looming population declines and accompanying societal disruptions.
In South Korea, for instance, the fertility rate is markedly less than one birth per woman, while in some European countries such as Italy and Spain the rates are nearly as low.
Leaders have argued for years that a significant driver of those low rates is the high cost of childbearing, leading many experts to propose generously expanded family benefits as a means to boost fertility rates.
Yet recent polls are offering different explanations. A Pew Research poll from July showed that, among Americans of prime childbearing years, a majority say they simply “don’t want to.” More than 40% say they “want to focus on other things,” and just under 40% cite the “state of the world.” Just over one-third, on the other hand, say they “can’t afford to raise a child.”
A similar 2021 Pew poll also found a majority of childless adults saying they would not have children because they “just don’t want to.”
Pollsters in 2022 likewise found a similar majority of Americans citing “personal independence” as a driving factor in forgoing childbearing, with 46% citing financial concerns.
‘A demand-side crisis’
Catherine Pakaluk, an associate professor of social research and economic thought at The Catholic University of America, told CNA that the polls show that “people don’t want to have kids, at least not enough to overcome the trade-offs.”
“I’m coming to the conclusion that the crisis is currently emerging as a demand-side crisis. This means it’s the problem of not having great enough demand for children,” she said.
Pakaluk, who with her husband, Michael, has eight children, drew a distinction between real demand and “demand in the abstract.” She cited as an example a survey that might show people would prefer to have an extra car — but only in theory, without any trade-offs.
“If push comes to shove, people could rearrange their lives to make another car payment,” she said. “But the trade-offs necessary to have a second car aren’t ones they want to make.”
“This is exactly what’s happening with children,” she said.
Pakaluk said there are no easy ways to determine how to make people have more kids, including via government policy and financial incentives.
“What are the actual trade-offs?” she said. “You probably could make certain aspects of having a kid cheaper, but would you get more kids? It depends on whether people want those kids. And it depends on whether the types of trade-offs you could reduce are the important ones.”
“That’s a big question nobody’s really spending a lot of time on. Sleeping through the night — the government isn’t working to fix that,” she said with a laugh.
Pakaluk pointed to a recent Atlantic article by Christine Emba in which the writer argued that declining fertility rates have “little to do with policy and everything to do with a deep but unquantifiable human need” for “meaning.”
“Many in the current generation of young adults don’t seem totally convinced of their own purpose or the purpose of humanity at large, let alone that of a child,” Emba wrote.
“It may be that for many people, absent a clear sense of meaning, the perceived challenges of having children outweigh any subsidy the government might offer,” she said.
Children can ‘fulfill you in ways you cannot imagine’
Married couples with children who spoke to CNA said having kids is both deeply rewarding and at times very challenging but that the former outweighs the latter considerably.
Andrea Serrani, who lives with her husband, Xavier, and their four daughters in Indiana, told CNA that the couple began discussing children from the time they were dating. Both agreed that it was always assumed that they would have kids.
“I was blessed to grow up in a happy family with parents who acted like they enjoyed having children and grandparents who acted like they enjoyed having grandchildren and aunts and uncles who acted like they enjoyed having nieces and nephews,” Andrea said.
“The example from the grown-ups all around me showed that children are good, even when they’re difficult, so that was always part of how I wanted my own life to be if God called me to marriage,” she said.
Children “are the natural fruits of marriage and we both agreed we were excited to welcome children into our shared life,” Xavier pointed out.
Both acknowledged the significant demands that children can place on parents.
“There are many times throughout the day when I simply want to be alone or ‘do my own thing,’ but my children are standing right there wanting to spend time with me,” Xavier said.
Andrea, meanwhile, acknowledged the strain when “a toddler with lots of will but little reason is yelling at me for the 35th time in the day because I can’t make the sky orange.”
Both, however, stressed that the trials of parenthood have been clarifying.
“Nothing has shown me my own faults like having children, and nothing has given me more opportunities to get better, even if I’m a slow learner,” Andrea said.
Xavier, meanwhile, said his children have “made me realize the depths of my own selfishness.”
“They are a constant reminder to keep my priorities straight,” he said.
Bailey and Jake Sparks, who run their own business, Feed on the Word in California, likewise said they were always planning to have children. The couple presently has one son together.
“When we got married, we both knew that someday we wanted to have children,” Jake told CNA, while Bailey said they felt God’s call “to co-create with him in expanding our family and growing in our marriage in this way.”
Bailey acknowledged the challenges of “being a full-time small-business owner and being a full-time mother,” while Jake pointed out that, for new parents especially, “it can be a bit overwhelming at first trying to decide what information to use and which method to try” when raising children.
“Ultimately, you kinda just figure it out, but at first there can be a lot of tough choices to make,” he said.
Both said the couple has been filled with joy “seeing [their son] grow and learn as we teach him the beauty of our faith and love of Christ.”
Both the Sparkses and the Serranis stressed the transformative joy and rewards of parenthood.
Andrea Serrani acknowledged the practical concerns many childless couples have regarding children, though she said that “lots of those concerns can be answered if you’re willing to do a little research and be a little creative.”
“I really think it boils down to this: I have experienced more joy in eight years of being a mother than any other time in my life,” she said.
Xavier Serrani, meanwhile, noted that “children require you to deny yourself daily,” but “there is much meaning found in that denial.”
Bailey Sparks said that parents who have children “will be fulfilled in ways you cannot imagine.”
“Having a child will bring you so much joy and purpose. And all the rest, ask Jesus, in his mercy, to take care of,” she said.
Jake Sparks pointed out that he “[doesn’t] know anyone who’s had a child, or a couple who has decided to have more children, regret it.”
“It’s hard to put into words the feeling you get when you first see your child, and then how that feeling grows everyday thereafter,” he said.
