Over the past few years, LA native Emily Wilson Hussem has become something of a Catholic dating guru.
A youth minister with years of experience, Emily’s YouTube videos on dating and relationships, along with her writing and social media accounts, have established her as a well-known and trusted guide for Catholic singles all over the globe.
After hearing repeated lamentations about the state of Catholic dating and watching the sharp decline in Catholic marriages, Hussem took matters into her own hands: she started creating “matchmaking posts” on her personal Instagram feed. To date, those posts have led to 11 marriages, 20 engagements, hundreds of dating couples, and one baby.
She and her husband, Daniël, felt called to help the growing population of single Catholics. They joined their talents — hers in ministry and his in technology and media — to launch SacredSpark, a new app which they describe as a “revolutionary Catholic dating and matchmaking experience that redefines (online) dating.”
SacredSpark just launched in Los Angeles and other cities at the end of September. Emily and Daniël spoke to Angelus about what makes their app different, and how they plan to accompany couples long after their first date.
Elise Ureneck: How did you two meet? What’s your window into the world of online dating?
Emily Wilson Hussem: Daniël and I met in 2013 at a Catholic conference in the Netherlands. I was speaking at the conference, and he was a volunteer. We began talking shortly after that, and dated long distance. We got married in 2015 and now live in the Diocese of Orange, though I was raised in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles in Encino.
Daniël Hussem: While it wasn’t part of our experience, we’ve been learning about online dating for years through friends. More than 60% of couples today meet online. Once we felt called to launch SacredSpark, we dug in and did our own quantitative and qualitative market research. We’ve been asking, “How do Catholic singles perceive the dating landscape and current app providers?” “What’s the communication track within the Catholic dating space?”
EWH: Many Catholics have tried every dating app under the sun. We’ve asked our focus groups what’s working and what’s not in order to provide the best solution for the mess of Catholic dating.
EU: Tell me more about what you mean by “the mess of Catholic dating.” What are the trends that concern you?
EWH: The first part is the breakdown of communication across the culture. Many Catholic singles have said that nobody in their generation was taught how to date or communicate. Many young men have also said to us, “My dad wasn’t around to teach me how to pursue a woman.” So we created Dating 101, a series of 79 videos focused on formation in these areas.
There’s also fear of rejection and a widespread fear of commitment. People feel like they should wait to see if someone better comes along. We encourage singles that commitment to someone with all of their flaws, weaknesses, and strengths is a beautiful thing. That's what the sacrament of marriage is.
EU: What challenges do people find with current dating apps?
EWH: They reduce people to profiles, and we are not profiles. That’s dehumanizing. We are human beings with hearts, souls, and stories. We designed SacredSpark so that people don’t act like they are shopping online. Users should think, “Every person I look at here is made in the image and likeness of God, and I should communicate with them and encounter them as such.”
EU: What are some of those humanizing features in your app?
DH: There hasn’t been a lot of innovation in the Catholic online dating space for a long time. We’re flipping the sequence as to how people connect. Instead of leading with a photo in someone’s bio, our app is video and audio driven. You can hear what people have to say, what their tone is like, how they present themselves and so forth.
We’re leading with inner qualities. Physical attraction is definitely important, but we want users not to judge someone on a split second glance, but more by the inner qualities they learn about. Users get to see what the other person looks like after there is mutual interest in connecting. Then they can introduce themselves, start messaging, set up a date and go from there.
EU: Your website advertises that a wider community can get involved with the app through matchmaking. How will this work?
DH: We’re blending technology and the tradition of matchmaking together. There are two ways to use SacredSpark — as a single or as a matchmaker. Singles can invite trusted friends and family to help them find compatible matches. Once those invitations are sent, we automatically link the two accounts together. We also permit matchmakers to begin the process for their single friends and family members, especially those who are burned out from online dating. Matchmakers can connect with other matchmakers, or they can directly reach out to singles.
EWH: Catholic singles need support. Too many of them feel forgotten, exhausted, and defeated. And there are many married couples who want to support them. We can rally around them and say, “You might be tired, but we’re going to help you and find a great match for you.”
EU: Is fixing Catholic dating primarily a work of the laity? Or should priests and religious help?
DH: Interest in fixing the dating scene is happening at the grassroots level, but singles are also reaching out to their bishops and advocating for it. We have heard from so many diocesan leaders that don’t know what to offer young adults when it comes to dating and marriage. They are eager to share our Dating 101 videos, which give ministry leaders a structured approach to inform people on the topic.
Priests and religious see the need to fix Catholic dating, because building the future Church starts with dating and marriage.
EU: How will you measure the app’s success?
DH: We’ve built a lot of tracking mechanisms in the app, from how many singles users are interacting with before they get a match, to how many people skip over profiles, to the number of couples that commit after using the app.
But SacredSpark is about online connections for offline relationships. We plan to offer more formational resources, ones that move from dating to discernment, to engagement and marriage itself.
EWH: We know the value of ongoing support for dating, engagement, and discernment. We receive formation from our parish and spiritual directors. We hope the app and our video resources pour fuel on the fire of marriage and family life. We want to see holy, sacramental marriages rooted in the faith. We want couples to blossom and families to thrive. And we want to help a lot of singles feel hope again, to know that God has a really good plan for each of their lives no matter what.
For more information or to join the waitlist, go to sacredspark.app.
