The courage to be a mom

God to let her live long enough to see her children grown; to a mother warned by her oncologist that if she did not terminate the baby she carried in her womb, she would probably die.In each of these instances, there were people who commended me for my courage. But I can't honestly say I felt like I had courage at the time. I was just a mom and I was simply doing what had to be done.Courage is a noun. It can be defined as a mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear or difficulty. But when I think of courage, I don't think about something we have. I think of it more as what we do and who we are.When I think of courage, I think of people I know who have lived this word, even in the most difficult if times.When I think of courage, I think of Marilyn. When her 17-year-old son was in a tragic car accident and she was told he would probably not live, she calmly and faithfully stayed by his side. When he awoke from a coma two weeks later, they discovered he had completely lost his memory. All the bedtime stories she had ever read to him, all the Christmas cookies they had baked together, all the birthday dinners she had so lovingly prepared --- all the memories, gone.So after 17 years of knowing him and loving him, Marilyn once again met her son. And once again she taught him to walk and to read. And they began to make new memories together. That takes courage.When I think of courage, I think of Emily. When told the baby she was carrying had Down Syndrome and he would need immediate surgery after birth, she rose to the occasion. She embraced her son and said "Yes" to life. After nearly two months in the hospital, baby Gabriel was able to go home. But it is not a life without some difficulties and moments of grieving. Many of Emily's friends have young babies near Gabriel's age. Emily watches as other moms' babies reach milestones that every parent looks for in their child and brags about to their friends. And at times, that can be tough. But Emily is one of the best moms I know. She tenderly holds her son and kisses his little face. She loves the miracle of Life that he is. In this world today where life is so readily disposed of when it is perceived as anything less than "perfect,” Emily tenderly holds her son close to her heart and knows that she is holding an angel, a child who has brought heaven right here to earth. That takes courage.Nothing was ever so simple as it was when they were babies in my arms. Then, I could gather them up and soothe their hurts, chase away their fears, and make every little thing “all better” just by my presence. But as they grow, I find myself praying for courage.When I think of courage, I think of Nora. A woman adopting her first child, she is waiting and waiting for the phone call of her lifetime: "It's time. You may pick up your son." She questions herself sometimes, and wonders if she will be able to be a good mother. Each night she goes into the room she has set up for her child, and she whispers a prayer to God to send the angels to guide her. She prays for her child and she prays that she will become a woman deserving to be called, "Mom." I know that a woman like Nora will be a great mom. I know because she cares enough to humble herself before God and ask for His guiding hand. I can only imagine if every parent-to-be took their role of parenting this seriously what kind of world we might have. In a world that can be so self-absorbed, Nora has opened her heart and her home to love a child and give him a family and a home. That takes courage.When I think of courage, I think of a 15-year-old girl who said "Yes" to God and bore to us Our Savior. I think of this same mother at the foot of the cross, 33 years later, gently holding the broken body of the Son she loved so dearly. I think of this beautiful Lady, our Blessed Mother, who knows better than any of us that loving does not come without a cost. That takes courage.As a mom for 25 years, I have whispered many a late-night prayer myself. I pray for my children living at home and those who are away. I pray they are safe and happy and faith-filled. More than anything, I pray for courage. Courage to let my teenagers go out into that great big world, when what I really want is to keep them home, hold them close, and protect them forever. As my children begin to march forth into life, they walk around with pieces of my heart inside of them. I know that they are going to be hurt and I am going to watch them suffer. There is no way around it. They will make mistakes and get hurt. They will meet many, many people and some of them will hurt them. Nothing was ever so simple as it was when they were babies in my arms. Then, I could gather them up and soothe their hurts, chase away their fears, and make every little thing “all better” just by my presence. But as they grow, I find myself praying for courage. After 25 years I begin to understand that, for mothers, the heroic effort is often in letting them go.And that takes courage.No, courage really shouldn't be a noun. Courage is who we are. Courage is what we do. Courage is what it means to truly be a mom.Therese Corsaro attends St. Mary Church, Palmdale, and teaches at St. Mary School.{gallery width=100 height=100}gallery/2011/0513/corsaro/{/gallery}